Should Parents Pay Children For Doing Chores? What Experts Say

Making the bed, washing dishes, taking out the rubbish or helping with laundry has traditionally been treated as part of growing up in a household.

But once children start asking for pocket money, parents can face a surprisingly complicated question: should children be paid for doing chores they would normally be expected to do anyway?

There is no single approach that works for every family. Parenting and financial-education guidance suggests that chores and pocket money can teach different lessons — and parents should first decide what they want their children to learn.

Chores can teach responsibility, independence and what it means to contribute to a household. Money gives children practical experience of earning, spending, saving and making financial choices.

The challenge is combining the two without creating the expectation that every contribution to family life should come with a price.

Chores Teach More Than Housekeeping

Household chores serve a developmental purpose beyond simply keeping a home clean.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends giving children age-appropriate responsibilities and gradually increasing those expectations as they mature.

Even when children complain about chores, having regular responsibilities can establish routines and reinforce the idea that everyone living in a household has a role to play.

Those responsibilities can begin relatively early.

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Children aged seven or eight can make their beds, set or clear the table and help fold laundry. As they get older, they can take out the rubbish, wash dishes, clean bathrooms or prepare simple meals under supervision.

Teenagers can take on considerably more responsibility, including cooking meals, caring for pets, doing garden work, helping with laundry and taking responsibility for larger cleaning tasks.

The principle is simple: as children become more capable, their contribution to the household can increase.

Where Does Pocket Money Come In?

Paying children for certain jobs offers a different lesson.

Financial-education guidance from the US Consumer Financial Protection Bureau says school-aged children can begin learning that money can be earned through allowances or by completing jobs for family members and others.

But simply handing children money does not automatically teach financial responsibility.

Children also need opportunities to decide what to do with it.

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A child who wants a new game, pair of shoes, toy or another non-essential purchase can learn that money is limited. Spending R100 today means that R100 will not be available for something else tomorrow.

That lesson becomes far more tangible when children are managing money of their own.

It also creates opportunities for parents to introduce saving, budgeting and the difference between wants and needs.

Why Paying For Every Chore Can Be A Problem

There is an important distinction between teaching children how earning works and turning every household responsibility into a financial transaction.

Children are members of a household too.

They use dishes, wear clothes that need washing, sleep in bedrooms that need cleaning and share spaces with the rest of the family.

If every task has a price attached to it, children can begin to see ordinary responsibilities as something they should perform only when there is money involved.

A teenager should not necessarily expect payment every time they wash the dishes any more than a parent expects to be paid for preparing dinner.

The American Academy of Pediatrics similarly advises that everyone living in a home should contribute to the work required to keep the household functioning.

That gives parents a useful dividing line: some chores can be ordinary family responsibilities, while additional work can provide opportunities to earn money.

Basic Chores Plus Paid Extra Jobs

For parents who want to introduce pocket money without paying for every household task, a two-tier approach can provide a practical compromise.

Basic chores are completed without payment.

These could include making the bed, putting dirty clothes in the laundry basket, clearing dishes after meals, keeping a bedroom reasonably tidy and helping with routine household tasks.

They are responsibilities that come with being part of the family.

Parents can then identify additional jobs that children can choose to complete for money.

Washing the family car, helping with a substantial garden job, organising a garage or storeroom, doing an additional cleaning project or taking responsibility for another significant task could fall into this category.

The approach teaches two lessons simultaneously: families share responsibilities, while additional work can create an opportunity to earn additional money.

That distinction also resembles something children will encounter later in life — the difference between responsibilities they are expected to fulfil and opportunities to earn more.

What Happens After They Earn The Money Matters

Paying a child R50 for a job and then forgetting about what happens to the money misses much of the educational opportunity.

Earning is only one part of learning how money works.

Children also need experience with spending, saving, planning and setting priorities.

Parents can encourage children to divide their money between what they want now and what they want to save towards, rather than controlling every purchase themselves.

And sometimes spending all the money immediately can provide its own lesson.

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If a child spends R100 on something today and discovers next week that there is something else they want more, they experience the consequence of that decision.

Provided the stakes are appropriate for the child's age, parents do not always have to replace the money.

Learning from a R50 or R100 mistake as a child is considerably less expensive than learning the same lesson after receiving a first salary.

Should Parents Control How Pocket Money Is Spent?

Giving children some control over money does not mean abandoning parental supervision.

Age matters.

A younger child will need more guidance, while teenagers can gradually be given greater responsibility for managing their own money.

Parents can establish boundaries while still allowing children to make genuine choices.

The objective does not have to be ensuring that every decision is perfect. Financial judgement develops partly through experience — including mistakes.

A child who saves for several weeks to buy something learns delayed gratification.

One who spends everything immediately learns about scarcity.

A child who compares prices begins to understand value.

And a child who decides that something is no longer worth buying once they have to use their own money has learnt a lesson that is difficult to reproduce through a lecture about budgeting.

Pocket Money Alone Will Not Teach Financial Responsibility

Access to money by itself is not financial education.

Parents remain central to the process because children also learn by observing how adults behave around money.

They notice how parents make purchases, discuss bills, save, borrow, compare prices and respond when finances are tight.

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau notes that parents and caregivers play an important role in the development of children's financial knowledge, skills and attitudes.

That means everyday family activities can become opportunities to talk about money.

A supermarket trip can introduce price comparisons. Saving towards a family purchase can demonstrate planning. Choosing not to buy something unnecessary can demonstrate the difference between wanting something and deciding that it is worth the cost.

Pocket money is therefore most useful when it forms part of an ongoing conversation about money rather than replacing one.

How Much Pocket Money Should A Child Get?

There is no universal amount.

What works depends on the family's financial circumstances, the child's age, what parents expect the child to pay for and the lesson they are trying to teach.

For one household, R20 may be enough to introduce a young child to spending and saving.

Another family may give an older child R100, R200 or R300 but expect the teenager to cover certain entertainment, outings or other discretionary purchases from that money.

Parents should not feel compelled to match what another family gives its children.

Consistency and purpose matter more than the amount.

If pocket money is intended to teach budgeting, repeatedly providing extra cash whenever the original amount runs out undermines the lesson.

Similarly, paying children for work but controlling every cent afterwards gives them little opportunity to practise making financial decisions.

Responsibility First, Money Second

Parents do not have to choose between paying children for every chore and refusing to give them money for any household work.

The two can serve different purposes.

Routine chores teach children that belonging to a family comes with responsibilities.

Additional paid jobs can demonstrate that work has economic value.

Managing the money afterwards can teach budgeting, saving, patience, trade-offs and the consequences of financial choices.

The more useful question for parents, therefore, may not simply be whether children should be paid for chores.

It is what they want their children to learn from doing them.